Friday, July 10, 2015

Twelve Days.

I like to write from the floor. Sprawled out across the carpet, fingers flying on the keyboard, feet dancing in the air, loaded with the energy not allowed to come out anymore. Simple.
My hair's a disaster, tossed in a slept-on messy bun--unwashed, as I wait it out for a mold-free shower.

I haven't eaten yet today--lentil soup and I are tired of each other this week. My brother might be disappointed, except that he's kind. I haven't accomplished much this morning, either, only thinking and listening, a pattern of activities I could live for.

Preparations to go home tonight whirl around in my brain, and the front door swings outside with the wind. Laundry, photo uploading, writing, grocery store lists. And in the back of my head a little whisper reminds me of the excited, dreadful feeling that I'm only here for twelve more days.

Twelve, eleven, ten, nine... 

Focus. Focus. Turning my lens to the boys arriving at camp this week. To the menu, the groceries, the paper work, lists, clean up groups, kitchen worker counts, snack ideas, magazines, things to bring, people to call. Wondering how physically prepared my body will allow me to be, answering texts, setting up dates with friends and loved ones who want to see me before I leave, staring at calendars, breaking for doctor appointments. Time moves so fast when he's standing still.

Eight, seven, six, five... 

Remembering to eat, listening to pretty music while I still have access, doing dishes, trying to keep my computer from heating up, not thinking about my last days at work. When they offered to let me come, I said no. But Time is a master, and sometimes his curve ball is better than mine.

So here I sprawl, fingers flying, feet dancing, messy hair, nineteen years old--solo. Willing myself to come to grips with reality. I'm kind of a small human. In twelve days, I'm moving halfway across the country all by myself.

Four, three, two, one... 


  1. Where are you off to Stephanie?
    Miss ya...I heard you were at girls week at Alethia this year! ;)

    1. I was! Haha, my presence at girls week was VERY limited, though. I drove all night and arrived there on Friday (I think..) around 6am. I slept most of that day. :)

      I'll email you soon!

  2. Ooh! What an exciting time! I hope that you have a safe transit and a smooth-as-can-be transition into your next step. I can imagine that it's scary, but still, I hope that wherever you go, you have hope and strength in your arsenal. :)