Friday, April 3, 2015

Porcelain Grace

Straight as a board. Driven on rules. Our structure, our strategy, our sophistication. The way we look, the way we act, the way we feel. 
Buried beneath the layers of perfect church goer and child-rearer, hiding so far under our porcelain skin, even we ourselves cannot find it. Neither the claws of Aslan. 
T-shirts, church books, perfect children -- counted success. But deeper -- deeper within, wasting away. Success?
Filth. "Someone worth dying for," says the Jesus we created. But amazing grace, how sweet the sound...who saved a WRETCH like me. 

Grace? We gloat our knowledge of that word, knowing nothing of its heart.
To be happy of our pride, proud of our arrogance. Preaching the evils of the pharisees, forgetting to point to the mirror. 
Filled with iniquity--polishing our china cups outside, when the inside is for the drinking. 
Rotting. Stench spewing from within. 
Our model children sipping away--twofold the child of hell.



  1. Wow......Stephanie, that is so true. We so often try to act like we have it all together. Like try to act like we are perfect Christians, a lot of the time we end of acting like Pharisees (*ouch*). It reminds me of a song by Casting Crowns called, Stained Glassed Masquerade. It talks about how we try to act all like we have got everything together which we havn't. It goes like this, "Is there anyone that fails, Is there anyone that falls, Am I the only one, in church today feelin' so small, Cause when I take a look around, Everybody seems so strong, I know they'll soon discover, That I don't belong, So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too,So with a painted grin, I play the part again, So everyone will see me the way that I see them, Are we happy plastic people, Under shiny plastic steeples, With walls around our weakness, And smiles to hide our pain, But if the invitation's open, To every heart that has been broken, Maybe then we close the curtain, On our stained glass masquerade, Is there anyone who's been there, Are there any hands to raise, Am I the only one who's traded, In the altar for a stage, The performance is convincing, And we know every line by heart, Only when no one is watching, Can we really fall apart, But would it set me free, If I dared to let you see, The truth behind the person, That you imagine me to be, Would your arms be open, Or would you walk away, Would the love of Jesus, Be enough to make you stay." We need to open with each other. We need to let others know that we are not perfect. Stephanie, you have done a great job of posting about your pain on your blog. That is really hard thing to do. Thank you, you have made a difference in my life and in many others by doing that. In the last month I have been through a lot (migraines, multiple hospital stays, etc.) and when I (and other people) have months like this we need to know we are not alone but if everyone tries to make everyone think they are perfect we think we are alone. So, thank you Stephanie for being open, thank you for stepping out of that limb. I know it is hard but you are making a huge difference.

    1. Aw, Maggie, you're so dear. :) Also, I love that song!

      Tell me about your migraines and hospital stays. <3 Do you have my email address?

    2. Hmmm...I don't think so. Maybe Priscilla Leake has it? If not I'll write you. Love ya!

    3. It should be under the "Contact" tab. I think. I hope. :) Hehe. I love you too! I'm sure I have your address hidden away here somewhere.

  2. I think the most unfortunate thing about being human is that we'll never know how unfortunate it is to be a human. :/ Grace is an incredible gift, and we'll never recognize it's true value. It's a little sad. But also good. Happy Easter.

    1. It is unfortunate. But it's really important when we *know* we'll never recognize grace.

      Happy Easter to you, also!