Friday, June 28, 2013

One In a Million

It's a one-in-a-million dream.

But I've dreamed it since my dramatic twelve-year-old days and Hurricane Katrina manuscripts.

 Hundreds and millions of people dream of publishing their first novel. Over half of them submit their manuscripts...only to be rejected. The thoughts began to whirl. I'm a seventeen-year-old nobody. Why would an agent or publisher choose my little ol' manuscript out of the hundreds of submissions they receive in a day?

Why do I even try?

C'mon, guys. Publishing is a pretty hopeless cause... especially if you're a homeschool girl under eighteen without any credentials. Oh, not to mention that most of the big name Christian publishers have been bought out by the secular industry and only accept "mild Christianity" in their fiction. Half of the publishing and manuscript submission companies don't even accept writing from students. I like to say they "don't believe in talent under eighteen." Shh... don't tell them I said that.

I've submitted my manuscript to fourteen agents and publishers. My writing is good, but is it that good?  What if my queries aren't well done? What if agents only laugh at me? What if I've wasted my chances?

A voice interrupted my thoughts. You can't do anything now but put it in God's hands.

God's hands. 

It hit me then. All the times I had put my writing in God's hands and He had come through. All those little pieces of "faithfulness" and "coincidence."

.....When I prayed for months over my manuscript and a friend's.... that we would be able to complete our novels under a tight deadline and that I would be able to teach novel writing to her successfully. 
.....When, only a few months after completing my first draft, my former writing teacher sent me a mid-semester e-mail with the all-of-the-sudden availability to teach and tutor again.
.....When I decided to complete four drafts in less than a month's time and was given the exact amount of perseverance I needed.
.....When I asked for sermon-writing inspiration....and a verse was given to me the day I had to write it.  
.....When I asked for providential "rain" and the literal rain that fell provided.
.....When I planned to finish my fourth draft by the summer, but fell behind and would have never gotten it done without a sudden desired deadline.

....He gave me the courage, the ability, and the knowledge to submit my manuscript here and now.

None of that was a "mistake." Nothing was a "coincidence." 

So why, when I've come all the way, do I doubt now? He's taken me this far. He will not fail to to take me the rest of the way. If it's His will, He will not fail to make me one in a million. 

Because the power is His alone.

So I lay the worry, the dreams, and the words at His feet...and I trust.


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